Part the Five: The Decaffinated Judders!

Authorís notes: So we have Jack, Daniel, Sam and Tealíc, and a lift throwing a wobbly!
Sometimes I seriously worry about the things that are going on inside my mind!
Sometimes the voices in my head talk to me, listening to them is compulsory, answering back is not!

I could have been a coffee machine if Iíd wanted to.
I donít have to have become a lift you know.
But no, Mamma said plan big.
Why settle for being a mere purveyor of caffeinated beverages?

I think Iíd have made an excellent peculator.
Maybe a nice little espresso machine.
All sleek chrome and chic design.

Nothing like that snotty piece of stainless steel lurking in the depths Carterís lab.
Thinks himself Ďall thatí just because he can make Ďrealí cappuccino.

Bloody idiot canít even tell the difference between Decaf and Columbian roast.
No wonder the poor woman ends up bouncing off the walls.
Especially when she tried to out coffee the King of the SGC coffee mountain, Dr Jackson himself.

Then again all those coffee makers seem so damn full of themselves.
Why would I want to become a one horse wonder like that?
Do I look bloody stupid?
No thought not.
Jumped up kettles the lot of them.